- Parsimony, thrift, mercy, lewdness, and sport, said Justice Oddwallader. – These are the virtues, Sir, upon which the British Empire is built. These are the five pillars of our civilization; the five indispensable features of our nation’s existence – the staples, as it were, of our moral diet. And you, Sir, have violated every one.

– Damned ruffian, said a voice from the gallery. Damned concupiscent stinker.

– Silence! admonished the Justice. I won’t have any θορύβημα in this court, to coin a phrase. Now, Sir, you goddamned scoundrel -

– That’s telling him, judge, said another.

– Order! said the judge. Now then, you scummy incongruous ruffian, hear your sentence. I sentence you, Willard Mohammed McGillicuddy Smith, of 47, The Crescent, Scrottingham, to be taken from this court to the place of execution and buggered up the arse until you’ve learned your lesson.

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December 21, 2012 · 10:56 pm

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